they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
