im six kinds of drunk right now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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