You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
