This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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