whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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