3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I need moral support for this bender
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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