Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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