Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorry my hands just texted you
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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