operation harelip BJ is a go
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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