Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize