I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
