Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
