why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
