North Korea, Best Korea!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
