I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
