we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
worst night to have a conscience
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
