just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
