Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize