She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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