You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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