did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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