Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
