dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
