Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
