The maid of honor just puked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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