There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
