I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
