i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
