# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
