Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your cock deserves a montage
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
