THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
