all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
