I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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