The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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