sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
