please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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