No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
