you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
