note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
