Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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