Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
