If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
