Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
