You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
