I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
and you fell through a lawn chair
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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