And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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