Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
