Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
