Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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