You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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