hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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