She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
