Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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