What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
