my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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