I murdered the dance floor call the cops
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
