I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
