Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize