i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
