One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
