People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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